Believing in a Delusional Belief
by TheSillyWriter
Summary: What could have happen when Saito successfully went back to his world at the Solar Eclipse? Well we'll know! and Louise will learn a lesson to sometimes be deaf even when it seems your... delusional. [RATED T] (LxS) It's finally COMPLETE. :D
1. Denial

**-=-=-=-Prologue-=-=-=-**

The Solar Eclipse arrived, and Colbert-sensei said that if Saito flies up to the eclipse he will return to his real world. Yeah, nobody is happy, even Saito _especially_ Louise. Saito is having second thoughts about returning to Japan but he's completely decided to go back. Louise will never let that predicament happen. She decided to go after Saito in his WW2 Japanese Plane with Tabitha and Kirche on Sylpheed. Louise caught up to Saito but because of Wales's interference they were in both grave dangers. Wales was defeated but Saito accidentally pushed the controls towards the Solar Eclipse transporting only **Him** back to modern civilization and humanity. Louise fell into the ground.

**"SAITOOOO!**" She shouted but Saito never responded.

Louise was falling umpteen meters in the sky. Sylpheed had to time the fall because it can't go further than 10,000m from the sky. Louise was saved and she was in great shock. Eyes open, won't blink, tears escaping her eyes. She won't believe her familiar-

No, her lover. Have left her.

Louise cried on Kirche's lap and Kirche even though rivals did her best to comfort the poor girl mage. She felt that Louise was in deep pain. They both loved each other than one was gone. It was like the brain. The left side was alive and right side was dead. Louise is crying and looked at Kirche.

"This is a dream right?!" Louise said to Kirche in a crying tone.

Kirche didn't respond.

"Answer me **Kirche!**" Louise cried again on her lap.

"... I wish it was Louise. I wish it was." She answered to Louise and shed a tear as she finished.

The gang went home. Louise can't sleep. She was crying on her bed sheet, crying to the memories with Saito. She knows that trading her nobility, no trading everything she has isn't going to bring Saito back. She didn't even get the chance to kiss him again. She missed that passionate kisses that she faked the reasons leading to just one. They love each other and they deny it, but this game of denials has come to an end.

And Saito was only Louise's _the one who got away._

She imagined what if she admitted she really loved Saito. She asked many questions. Lots of what if's, what if I's, what could've happened, yeah but her chances was gone. She could've made more memories but no, she didn't. They played hide-and-seek with their feelings and the game ended. No one won. She knew that if she summoned again a familiar she _might_ have a chance to summon Saito again but no one has ever re-summoned an old familiar. It's a one in a million, billion, trillion, quadrillion, or **even a zillion **chance especially that Saito is in a different dimension, universe, and timeline.

She had to sleep it off, crying, in agony, dreaming that Saito was still there. She really can't forget the guy who made her heart beat once, who tamed her lion-like personality and endured the pain that she gave even she acts like a little jealous girl. The night passed and now we see a Delusional Louise.

Louise woke up in the morning happy to see Saito. She forgot that Saito is gone. She looked down in the hay bale where Saito usually sleeps. She saw it and Saito was gone, at first she wondered where Saito is, but she concluded.

"Nah..., maybe had a Morning Walk." She said in denial.

She got prepared and put her usual mage uniform. She got out of her room and walked the hallway happily. Yes, she denied that Saito was gone. She became very delusional, that she denies and proves to herself that Saito was gone, on a morning walk, to Queen Henrietta, etc. She gave thousands of reasons to her delusions and everyone was worried.

One day, Kirche had enough of Louise's denial. She was angry and hurt at her. Seeing that one cheerful, violent but cute teenage girl mage has been transformed to nothing but a delusional freak. She went to Louise's room and seen her happy and writing on her diary. She went to ask Louise something that will decide everything **once** and for all.

"Hey Louise, where's Saito." She said to Louise to know if these delusions have come too far.

"He's gone for a week now! Probably on a Mission with the Princess—" just as before Louise was done speaking, Kirche slapped her hard. Hoping that Louise will awaken in this trance she made for herself.

Louise started tearing up in front of Kirche.

"Yeah, call me delusional! Call me crazy! Call me a freak! Yes! I'm hoping for nothing! **YES!** I always knew that Saito will be gone forever! Yet, I try to be happy, I try to be strong! And believe that Saito will go back! Now if you have nothing good to say or here to insult my beliefs! Then **LEAVE ME ALONE!**" Louise cried at her bed sheet and her pillows. Kirche just added oil to the fire and so she decided to leave the poor Louise alone. Just as she went outside Louise's room and back to her room—

"Come back... Saito. Come back for everybody. Please." Kirche slid to the door releasing the tears she held back for Saito. She felt the same for Louise. They both miss Saito.

Back on Louise's room she's crying so hard she could fill a pool with her tears. She always kept a drawing of Saito with looking like a dog. She hugged it hard and cried on it. It's her last remembrance of her dog. No not a dog, stray dog, or perverted dog. He was her friend, her bestfriend, her acknowledger, her shoulder to cry on, and her crazy Japanese lover.

Just then, somebody knocked on her door.

"**LEAVE ME ALONE!**" She shouted.

Except the one who knocked was... Montmorency and she didn't follow. She went in by force and seen a crying Louise. She felt pity and Louise's agony was something to be afraid of. Louise and Saito were like a magnet, even how much you try to repel them they still try to attract. Montmorency went near to Louise and sat on her bed caressing Louise's pink hair for a while.

"Louise..." Montmorency lowly said to her.

"If you're here to call me delusional, a freak and a pushover then go! I don't need your opinion." Louise said.

"It's not that..." Montmorency said and just then somebody knocked.

"Louise?" A womanly voice called.

Montmorency saw a spitting image of Louise. It was Cattleya. She came to visit Louise at the right moment. Montmorency decided to leave the two alone and Cattleya sat on the bed. She caressed Louise's hair softly. While Louise believing it was still Montmorency...

"I told you to—"Louise looked at Cattleya and started to cry more and hugged her tightly and so as Cattleya did to Louise too.

"Chi-sama! He's gone!" Louise cried more at Cattleya's shoulder.

"I know it hurts Louise... but some things happen for a reason." Cattleya hugged Louise to comfort her.

**Hello guys! I hope you enjoy! This is my first FoZ fanfic so bear with me. Okay to be honest, every chapter will be short and worst of all it's just a 5-chapter story (for a specific reason and you might probably know it right now.). Well it will be a great help if you review. Until the next update see you all!**

**Next Chapter/Process:** Anger.


	2. Anger

Few months have passed and Louise is still grieving about Saito gone. After Cattleya's advice she became less delusional... but more aggressive to everybody. When she attends classes she doesn't speak to everyone, even to her close friends who is nonetheless worried about her situation. After classes she directly comes to her room and locks it and sleeps. Sometimes her nearby dormitory neighbors hears her speaking to herself saying—

"Stupid, stupid, stupid DOG! Why won't you come back?!" She sometimes shouted.

When people talk to her she ignores and gives them a scary glance. It's like Louise will be the one killing you. All the people are scared and worried at the same time. They hear shattering sounds at morning when the maid Siesta goes in Louise's room and brings her breakfast. When others go in she commands them to leave her alone. Everybody is very worried for his well-being. She rarely eats or rarely even talks to anybody.

One day, something tragic happened. It was a... life-scarring situation.

"Ms. Valliere breakfast is served..." Siesta said to Louise.

Louise was crying in her bed again. Holding a knife, she looked at Siesta. Everybody thought her delusions is done but they didn't know it became worse. Everybody who had close connections to Saito except Louise, Louise sees them as a spitting image of Saito. It was like she's in a sort of trance. What everybody doesn't know in some nights...

She drinks sleeping pills. Just to sleep and stop the grieving. Sometimes she doesn't drink just one pill. It can be two, three or worse five. After continuous drinking she have overdose and experiencing those who intake drugs. Her sight is being affected. Her friends, Kirche, Tabitha, and Siesta in her sight are Saito. Everybody didn't know that Louise was holding a deadly anger all this time.

The next time she saw Saito... it became worse.

"Um... Miss Valliere I'll be taking that knife..." Siesta said shaking in fear to Louise.

"Saito... Why are you with Kirche all the time! Don't you know how jealous I get?! **Your always in there room! And you never come to mine! YOU'RE MY FAMILIAR AND YOU SHOULD STAY WITH YOUR MASTER!**" Louise said making Siesta drop her tray and running away from Louise as Louise chased Siesta with a knife with murder intent. The others became scared and hid in their room, even the teachers stayed in one room. Though Kirche had a plan...

"**SIESTA! RUN!**" Kirche shouted to Siesta.

"So... Saito... You're making that seductive maid run? Well I guess you really love her... If I can't have you then **NO ONE WILL**!" Louise ran to Kirche but before she killed Kirche...

"**TRAP!**" Guiche chanted from behind thus trapping Louise's body in a hole of earth.

"Ugh! Let me go!" Louise cried.

"Louise! I thought your delusions are gone!" Kirche said to Louise.

"What are you saying Saito! **I'M NOT DELUSIONAL!**" Louise insisted on Kirche but Kirche slapped Louise hard again. Not once, but twice to wake up her subconscious. Kirche hoped that her plan will work which she doubt will work.

"Unh... Kirche? What happened?" Louise said in a gentle voice.

"Guiche! Release her!" And so Guiche did. Kirche hugged Louise while Louise dropped the knife and hugged Kirche. After that Louise collapsed and they brought her to the clinic, where she rest. Everybody was still traumatized of what happened today but in the end everybody decided to just keep quiet and pretend that nothing happened.

No one knows what will happen next.

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><p><strong>Hello everybody! Sorry for this short chapter but as I told you, every chapter is short. You might've probably guessed what's happening. Also, I would like to thank ALL of you! Yeah I repeat, all of you! For the blockbuster hit of chapter 1! You make me crii! Haha! Anyways I'll see you in the next update! Reviews are always welcome c:<strong>

**Next Chapter/Process: **Bargaining.


	3. Barganing

After the incident with Louise, Louise woke up in a mysterious dimension, a dimension of nothing but white. It could be the fabric of space or time, but she's seeing nothing pure white substance. Surprisingly she can breathe air, but her voice when she speaks echoes endlessly in this world of nothing. After some few minutes of walking she found a silhouette of a person. She ran to that and saw a purple figure that looks like her body! Louise was in shock. The figure quickly looked at her.

"Who are you!" Louise asked in fright.

"_I'm you... Louise._" The purple figure said to her.

"H-h-how can that be? All I remember was I was in my bathroom taking my sleeping drugs! I think I took 5! Then I wake up and look where I am! In a white plane! I think I'm overdosed. Yeah, I remembered hugging and collapsing in front of Kirche." She said to the purple figure.

_"I know what you're feeling. You're denying that Saito's gone right?_" The purple figure said.

"Yeah, people call me delusional! B-b-but..." Louise worried.

"_People are calling you delusional, and you're worried that everyone **MIGHT** be right?"_ The purple figure said.

"Yes..." Louise said accepting the truth.

"_Remember this Louise... sometimes you just have to believe and be deaf."_ The purple figure said and disappeared.

Louise walked more to see how she will get out from this white plane but her mind was stuck on the two words that the purple figure said: Be deaf. She didn't understand, well the purple figure isn't obviously telling her to destroy her hearing. She walked and walked and saw a figure of herself again only this time it's red and it seems very aggressive, just before she went near the figure, the figure teleported itself near Louise.

"**_TELL ME! HOW MUCH WILL YOU SACRIFICE FOR SAITO?!_**" The figure angrily shouted at Louise.

For some reason, Louise fell into the ground. Words came out from her mouth that she never said. Tears came out, and she felt sadness when she doesn't have too. It was like the red figure was commanding her to speak... the truth.

"**I DON'T KNOW! **I'll sacrifice my nobility, my treasures, everything just for Saito to come back!" She unconsciously said but that's what Louise felt, what she wanted to speak for a long time but she couldn't.

"**_DON'T YOU THINK THAT SAITO WILL COME BACK FOR THAT?! TELL ME HOW HE WILL COME BACK!_**" The red figure kept saying words, that for some reason, Louise wants to say too. The red figure was like the vines that need to be untangled out of her mind. She then forcibly commanded her body to stand up and hugged the red figure. The red figure cried and so did Louise too.

The red figure disappeared and Louise regained her consciousness back.

Louise walked more to find out what's with this white plane and why everything that Louise wants to release from her mind comes here. She walked more and after a while she was stuck in her current position. She can't move anything. The only actions she can do is blinking and breathing. Then three giant figures sprouted from the white plane and it was the figure she saw earlier, the purple and the red figures only this time, on the middle there was a golden one.

"_Louise... You passed two trials. This time it's time for the last trial."_ The purple figure said.

"_Tell us, what is it you wish for?"_ The red figure said.

"I wish to see a glance of Saito, to talk to him for a little while, I know that bringing him back to Halkengenia is impossible but... at least once I want to confess something to him." Louise said while crying to the three figures.

"_Then tell me, will you sacrifice everything for him?" _The gold figure said.

"I will!" Louise shouted.

"_Hah! I know you won't, for we are your minds and thoughts. We are the things that are stuck in your mind ready to come out any moment, but I like your courage, as a reward and for this time only... We'll connect your dream to Saito's dream."_ The gold figure said.

"Thank you! Oh thank you!" Louise cried and after a few months, a grin was finally painted in her face for a while.

After the conversation with her minds and thoughts the magic of the three figures transported Louise in another white plane. Louise walked and walked through this new white plane. After that, she saw something in a blue and white jacket. Her face was crying in joy. He saw Saito! She ran to him as fast as he could and when Saito saw Louise they both ran to each other. When they finally reached each other they both hugged.

"Saito-kun! I missed you." Louise said crying on Saito's chest.

"I missed you too Louise." Saito said to the crying Louise.

"I-I have something to tell you..." Louise ready to confess, looked at Saito and they both blushed.

"What is it Louise?" Saito asked.

"U-u-um... I-i..." Louise can't complete the sentence she was going to say.

"I wish for you to have a good life! You're now back, in that place called Japan right! You should be happy." Louise said but it wasn't what she'll confess.

"Me too Louise... I-I have something to say to you." Saito said.

"What is it?" Louise asked.

"I-i..." Saito was about to say... his feelings for Louise, but then they both awoke into reality.

Louise shouted. She was back in the real world. She was in the hospital bed in the clinic with Kirche and Guiche watching over her. Both Kirche and Guiche awoke to see a sad Louise; Louise went near to Kirche and cried on her shoulders.

"Kirche! Kirche! I missed the chance! No... Bring me back Saito! No..." Louise cried on Kirche's shoulder.

"Please three figures! I'll give anything! Give me another **CHANCE!**" Louise cried and shouted.

Both Kirche and Guiche not sure of what happened, but for whatever happened it was something bad.

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><p><strong>Okay... So for all the readers who is questioning <strong>"Where the heck is Saito?!"** well there you go! But it's not the only scene! Just you wait guys... Just you wait :). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I never expected for the chapter to pass 1,000 words! Hooray! Well time for the reviews! I appreciate your tremendous support! From the reviews who help me become better, from the massive views which inspire me to do more! Until the next update!**

**This time guys I'm doing a Shoutout Giveaway! Just answer this question in the reviews section!**

_The three figures represent Louise's..._

_A. Louise's Charm, Hotness, and Nobility_

_B. It's the colors of the rainbow!_

_C. Louise's Denial, Anger, and Bargaining._

**No definite time of when the Shoutout ends but whomever answers correctly gets a shoutout next chapter! Happy Answering!**

**Next Chapter/Process**: Depression.

**WARNING:** Next chapter's going to be pretty downhill and dark.


	4. Depression

**WARNING:** Get your flashlights! This chapter's going to be dark.

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><p>After the incident with Louise's outrage, Louise recovered only then depressed from the dream. She now seldom goes and attends classes nor even goes outside her room. She's getting really sick but for all she cares, she doesn't care. She was just there, in her bed crying. After through 5 painful nights, she recovered physically, but not mentally and emotionally. She was now nothing but an emotionless statue. She doesn't talk to anyone, nor even express any emotion. She attends classes but after that she quickly goes back to her room and eats the food Siesta prepared and sleep.<p>

One day, she had it. She can't handle the weight and the force of her emotions trying to break free from this mental prison she made. So she released a frenzy of emotions and now she's mentally crazy. She got a knife and a paper. Louise slashed her finger for blood to come out and wrote out from her blood.

"Bye cruel world" She wrote with her blood.

She then got a rope and did a two and-a-half hitch knot on her bathroom on her bathroom curtain holder and got a chair standing on it and Louise locking the knot and got her final glimpse of the world. She doesn't have a reason to live without Saito so she's going to end it. Luckily what Louise doesn't know was, her sister Eleonore was coming to bring her back home.

As Eleonore reached Louise's room she noticed it was locked.

"Chibi-Louise! Open this door this instant!" She struggled to open the door but she couldn't.

"You live me no choice then Louise! _Prassura hanginia bursa dan oblikirat awy! _**WIND PRESSURE BURST!**" She chanted out loud causing Louise's door to break into fine wood dust. After then Eleonore walked in and saw the note that Louise note with her blood. She went to the bathroom to find her and it's locked once more.

"**LOUISE OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT!** _Prassura hanginia bursa dan oblikirat awy! _**WIND PRESSURE BURST!**" The bathroom door blew into pieces then ran to the bathroom and saw Louise hanging in the gibbet.

"**LOUISE!** You stupid girl! What do you think you're doing?!" Eleonore ran to Louise and hoisted Louise's body for a while so Louise can start breathing again. Louise was breathing again but she isn't happy for what Eleonore did.

"**WHY! WHY!** Let me go! Leave me here dying! I don't want to live anymore!" Louise cried to Eleonore but she didn't listen. Eleonore chanted a spell to cut the rope and brought Louise down to the ground. Eleonore was going to slap Louise but Louise stopped her hand.

"No more pain, no more agony. No more denial, **NO MORE DELUSION FREAK! , NO MORE STUPID BARGAINING AND NO MORE STUPID DEPRESSION! **Fine! Slap me? **GO! **It won't change me anyway. Yes call me delusional, a freak, and a pushover! **GO!** Throw to me all your opinions, I don't care! Wanna know why! Because nobody gives (Author's Comment: You know what Louise will say, let's just keep the fanfic clean ok ^_^.) about how I feel! They thought they know how to comfort me, how to stop my delusions! Well guess what! They don't!" Louise argued to her sister and Eleonore answered with a very **hard** slap.

"Stupid, such ignorance! Say Louise, how many people do you think is suffering and experiencing the same thing just as you? Out from Tristain! Or from any other countries here! Or maybe even out in Halkengenia! Remember Louise the whole world doesn't revolve in your grief! You want a new familiar to replace that stupid boy back? Fine, I'll talk to Mr. Colbert to get you a new one in a week!" Eleonore left the room and opened the broken door.

"By the way, don't worry about your door; I'll call a carpenter to fix it." Eleonore said to Louise and left.

Kirche and Montmorency ran to Louise's room seeing a completely devastated Louise and a big hole in the doors. They both went in and walked to Louise. They went near her and they both hugged her. This time Louise didn't resist and hugged them two back. Louise was crying non-stop.

Louise is one step closer to moving-on. Will she make it?

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><p><strong>Okay, guys so... pretty dark here right? Well yeah cry everything out because next chapter I don't want to see any readers crying since your IN for a big surprise! I hoped you enjoy, I'll see you guys in the 2<strong>**nd**** to the last update. The 5-chapters have been 6. You'll know why. The next update is the moment of truth. Rate and Review, btw, I would like to congratulate every single of you! We reached 470+ Views! Chapter 1 is SO BLOCKBUSTER! My highest view count in the past was 145 now, a whopping 475. :D Thank you so much.**

**Shoutout Giveaway is still Open ^_^**

**Next Chapter/ Last Process: **Acceptance.


	5. Acceptance, and the Miracle

After Louise's suicide attempt, Eleonore has arranged a "Summon Servant Session" special only for Louise. Louise has fully recovered emotionally and mentally. She has moved-on from her recent loss and now is ready to embrace life without Saito. Sure, she might have recovered but the memories and pain is still there painted in her brain and heart. She woke up in a fine sunny day, on the right side of the bed, and got prepared in her usual mage uniform, she walked out to the hall and noticed it was deem quiet, not a single sound was heard except when she walks.

She went down the stairs to go out to the courtside and by her surprise; everybody was waiting for her there. She was trembling in fear for the fact that if she fails she'll insult the name of the Valliere. What made it more scary is that her sister Eleonore was there but to Louise's relief, her sister Cattleya was there watching. The crowd was arranged in a circle when Louise stepped in the middle everybody grabbed something in their pockets and shouted:

"**HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**" All the students shouted and sent out flares in different element types to celebrate her birthday. It was a glorious moment, finally the whole academy finally painted out a sweet cute smile in Louise's face. It made everyone happy especially that everybody knew what happened and everybody is happy to hear that Louise recovered.

"**LOUISE! YOU CAN DO IT!**" Everybody shouted again, Colbert-sensei stepped in.

"Um... Colbert-sensei I have something to ask of you." Louise looked at Colbert.

"What is it child?" Colbert asked.

"Is it possible... to re-summon... Saito?" Louise asked.

"Maybe, although I'm afraid nobody has ever done that. Not even Lord Brimir. Not even in the past 6,000 years. The chances are 0.01% to 99.99% and come to think of it 0.01% compared 99.99% is a great number but..." Colbert stopped.

"But what Sensei?! Tell me please!" Louise pleaded to Colbert.

"Love is a great factor in increasing your chances. If you both love each other, your chances raise up by 10% but if only one of you loves the other well it reduces to... 1% only. Either way, re-summoning is a completely impossible task." Colbert sadly concluded.

"Thanks anyway, Sir Colbert." Louise thanked Colbert.

"Okay then, **LOUISE BEGIN!**" Colbert shouted signaling everybody to run away from Louise afraid they'll be part of a dangerous explosion like last time. Everybody hid in the corridors. Louise started chanting the Summon Servant Spell.

"_My servant that existed somewhere in this vast universe, my divine, beautiful, wise, powerful servant," _White essences started to build up in the air causing Colbert to run out of fright. "_heed my call, I wish from the very bottom of my heart and add to my guidance and __**APPEAR!**__" _

Nothing happened.

Louise waited, nothing happened. She was now a disgrace in the family of Valliere. Everybody went near to comfort the almost crying Louise and then something exploded. Everybody was now tinted in black, hair twisted and everything.

"*cough* *cough* Really Louise, the spell was waiting for us to go near and—Oh my..." Kirche said and dropped to the ground and tears went escaped her eyes.

"I-it's... a miracle." Colbert said, wiped his glasses to see if **it's** really true.

The crowd was surprised, the principal, Eleonore and Cattleya, for over 6,000 years, today a mage who's always Zero, who has always failed in everything she does, has performed a miracle. Only she who did once in a blue moon has done it. Louise was crying in happiness. A wide grin was painted in her face. She went near to her familiar.

"My name is Louise Francoise Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière." She said to the familiar.

"I missed you, stupid... dog!" Louise hugged the familiar and cried in his chest.

The familiar began stroking Louise's hair, and Louise was crying in happiness for she has brought back something precious to her. Where she almost have suicide because of depressions, where she believed in her delusions and became a pushover to everybody's sight. Now she doesn't regret her beliefs, she can now smell and feel the thing she wants for almost every day of her life. She was happy, the familiar was happy to have each other back.

"I missed you too... Zero." Saito giggled and Louise punched her chest but in the end both hugged each other.

Without Colbert's signal Louise kissed for the binding contract. They both liked it was a kiss of pure love they didn't care what the people's reaction is. Every second counts on them, it was passionate. They both blushed and Louise stepped back and they we're both happy.

Everybody doesn't know that these two knew the runes remained, and the binding contract was just an excuse for them to kiss **_IN_** front of Eleonore and Cattleya.

Her birthday was the best birthday she had, for her lover have return.

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><p><strong>Surprise! Surprise! There you go! Saito's back yay! Three cheers for the couple! :-3 well there's still one last chapter but just in case I get lazy to do that, I got an excuse since the story is technically complete. The next chapter is just what happened after this and that but yeah, I hope you enjoyed! Rate and Review! And guys, we reached a new milestone again! 550+ views! And for that let us eat a virtual cookie! *eats cookie* nom nom nom! Well anyways, thank you for supporting me, for giving me inspiration to continue this chapter when I felt that I should give up. Well until the (probably next update) or the farewell, oh my goodness when I write farewell I become sad like instantly. Anyways, farewell till the next update! See you all!**

**Probably next Chapter: **Aftermath.


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